Well don’t I feel silly

As he pointed out to me himself, he’s never yet given me any reason to doubt him, to think he’s lied or acted badly towards me.

So until such a time as he does, I’m going to chill the fuck out.

It occurred to me just now that I’ve been waiting and praying and looking for an adult relationship. One where you can not be together even though you’re together.

I think it’s so sad that years of failed relationships with the wrong guys who treated me poorly, have made me into some neurotic, frenzied mad woman with no self-esteem who thinks she’s not pretty enough/not clever enough/not funny enough/not sexy enough/all-round not good enough.

So so sad.

Because everyone is enough, for the right person. And I believe, having thought about it, that we find that person by keeping cool, taking things slowly and seeing how events pan out.

Not rushing in and trying to take things at a million miles an hour.

So I am determined…..to completely kill my neurotic side. And appreciate the fact that, right now, it appears I have found exactly what I’ve been looking for…..an actual adult who knows how to have an actual adult relationship. Wow!

Appreciate that he doesn’t need to talk to me 24/7, or see me every single weekend; that he’s comfortable enough with the stage we’re at to keep in contact with a couple of messages everyday, and see each other when we can and make the most of that time. Not see each other all the time for the sake of it. Or send bullshit empty messages to each other for 12 hours a day every day that we don’t spend together, just for the sake of having a conversation.

Could this be too good to be true?

For now, I think not. If things change and the situation alters then that’s a bridge to cross when I come to it.


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