Déja vu

Screenshot_20170412-111804That old familiar feeling…..why hasn’t he text me, did I do something wrong, what did I say, should I text him……

I broke a mirror this morning and then have literally just seen a lone magpie. Oh, great. Well, fuck me I’ve just seen its friend!

I feel like he’s been distant since Monday, which I have attributed to a few things that happened while I was at his this weekend.

Long story short….had a couple of minor misunderstandings, or disagreements. He got really sick and we couldn’t do what we’d planned, I think he thought I was pissed about this but I wasn’t, just disappointed. But obviously it wasn’t his fault, just one of those things. Then his mum accidentally labelled me his girlfriend while recounting a conversation she’d had with someone else. And I know how much that label freaks him out. But we talked about it and it was all good and he spoke about seeing me this Friday.

So why do I now feel like he’s really distant?

I’m on holiday and he’s at work so he’s probably just really busy.

But he’s been super busy before and always found time to message me. He’s maybe leaving me to get on with my holiday but somehow I find that unlikely from what I know of him.

My honest gut feeling is that this is him pulling away, for whatever reason.

And I know I could just message him first but when he’s barely talking to me I’m not going to annoy him by messaging him constantly.

If someone wants to talk to you, then they’ll talk to you.

Best life advice ever: maybe he’s just not that into you.

I thought he was a decent and wise enough person to be an adult and talk about shit like this, but you never know. People are multi-faceted and they hide bits of themselves and their character, sometimes for an infinite period. He normally messages me first every morning, about half 9, and it just speaks volumes to me that this is the first day he hasn’t.

Silence is so loud, right?

Maybe he wants me to message him first for a change, but a) I find this also unlikely and b) I’ve already covered why I’m not messaging him first.

Fuck feelings. Fuck relationships. Fuck déja vu.

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