So I haven’t posted in a while.
Things got so frantic that I just wanted to leave them to play out until I knew what was happening, so that I could process it and write it all down.
And then a day became a week which became a month. And here we are!
Finally got rid of the druggie ex from hell. I still need to get a couple of bits off him that belong to me but we’re on civil terms so hopefully that shouldn’t be too difficult.
Met the most amazing guy. Like, incredible. Blows my mind. He actually takes an interest in me, beyond my shell. He takes the time to ask me about my day, about what I’m thinking and feeling, about my fears, my hopes and dreams, my aspirations. He makes time for me. Without fail. Things are going slowly, which is what both of us want. And I’m just really happy. We’re pretty loved up and it’s nice.
But then…….most enourmous argument with my best friend. To cut a long story short (although this is only the last couple of days) turns out he was basically in love with me. So messing around together – while he said he agreed that it was innocent fun – was actually ripping us to shreds because he had really strong feelings for me and I didn’t for him, and I didn’t know about his feelings for me.
So…..deep breath. Basically he told me over text that I’d changed, that he didn’t like me anymore and was sick of pretending that he still did, said I’ve become vain and shallow and care far too much about what people think of me and how they perceive me, said I’m cold and callous and just used him when it was convenient for me etc., etc., etc.
But, in life…you can’t blame people for their actions if the information they were provided with was incorrect. Or inaccurate.
Had I been given any indication that he had such strong feelings, OF COURSE I would have backed away and OF COURSE I wouldn’t have slept with him and OF COURSE I would have acted differently.
So I basically replied that I had a lot to say but wouldn’t waste my breath when he’s made it clear how he feels. I said I’m 23 so as an adult I like to deal with things face-to-face, not over text. I told him I wasn’t willing to be dragged into a childish text war using silly emojis. I said I was sorry he’d felt the need to lie for so long and that he could say what he wants about me but I know who and what I am and I know how things really happened. I shamed him for dealing with the situation like this.
And then I blocked his number. Not to be childish or petty, but because I refuse to have my life thwarted by somebody else’s vicious, hateful words.
Spoke to my guy about it all and he was ridiculously supportive.
Why couldn’t I meet him sooner?! It seems like everything really is coming up roses.