I’d like to think that if I was going to explode then it would be this pretty.

Either way I’m going to explode.

I couldn’t bear him even touching me last night, I hated it so much. And I have no idea why. I’ve never ever felt like this in my life and it’s terrifying.

I felt like a disgusting person for wishing that it was him touching me and not him. I can’t even believe I’m voicing all this out load, I just want to punish myself!

How can feelings and emotions change so rapidly and so violently in such a short space of time?! We’re talking, less than a week here.

I feel like it says awful things about me as a person; it’s making me look insensitive, fickle, shallow, uncaring, and normally I would say I’m the opposite! All I wanted for so long was exactly the kind of relationship I’ve found and now I’m in it all I can think is “is this right for me?” and “what do I want?”

All I want is to be with him, just once.


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